R.I.P.

Checked my Facebook a little bit ago...  A post from a friend, asking for prayers for the family of another friend.  No details were posted, but the BIG detail... that a friend had died... was made clear by the R.I.P. at the end. 

This is, unfortuneately, how I have learned of other friends' deaths as well.  On Facebook.  My husband came up the stairs, as I came out of the livingroom.  We met in the kitchen and he told me that this person had died.  I said, "I just found out, too."  He said, "Oh, Facebook."  My husband had heard the old-fashioned way.  Via telephone.  His friends all know he does not "do" Facebook, so they called him to give him the funeral details.  I wonder if those will be posted on Facebook later as well.

The last funeral I went to was for a friend of my kids'.  FaceBook, being the venting ground of the young, was awash with comments from all who knew this young man (as well as sympathy notes from those who didn't know him, in support of those that did).  He (the deceased) even has his own R.I.P. Facebook page.  His friends still post on his page, even though nearly a year has passed since his death.  It brought fueds to an end, and many reunions of those that had known him and lost touch during or after high school. 

But grown ups grieve differently, more privately.  Other than the plea for prayers for the family, I am sure this death will not generate the public displays of sorrow that Facebook allows for the young.  This upcoming funeral will be much more sedate.  But no less heartbreaking for those that loved him.  My prayers are with all who knew and loved Jeff.  I, myself, did not know him.  He is (was?) the brother of one of my husband's closest friends.  I know that this will be a hard time for all these men.  For all their bluster and joking over the years hides the tenderest parts of their hearts.  I know these guys will grieve deeply, but most will do so privately. 
I wonder, perhaps, if it is easiser to deal with the grief over the computer. No one sees your tears.